Family Matters: "Children, Obey Your Parents"

The single most important relationship with that child has in their life aside from a relationship with Jesus is the relationship that they have with their parents.

We all have the same desire for our families. We want to be strong and have the ability to endure through life together.

The word of God is full of instruction about family and God’s expectation for the family.

We don’t ever have to question God’s purpose for the family.

And yet… The family is struggling big time.

In our country, 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce. Divorce in subsequent marriages are even higher.

In terms of church life, we see struggle in the family through several areas.

Children simply talk to adults differently than they should.

Adults talk to children differently than they should.

In my opinion, the number one issue in the family is that most families in church rarely read the bible together. We don’t know what the bible says and we aren’t teaching it to our children.

One of the great struggles in the family right now is biblical illiteracy.

Why?

Many of us haven’t been trained.

We’ve been trained but we aren’t teaching what we have been taught.

We don’t see it as our job to teach our children.

It’s hard to make scripture relevant to this modern generation.

If we are truly honest, we don’t have the desire to know the scriptures ourselves. We make excuses.

Parents, if we don’t want to make excuses any more and we want to move forward with Christ at the front of our family, we must take intentional steps forward.

It all starts with the motive of our heart and whether or not we want to be obedient to God.

Let’s talk about God’s word to children about their relationship with parents.

Ephesians 6:1–3 NASB95

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.

Ephesians

Few passages are more clear than this instruction.

As children we do two things.

Obey the people who nurture and raise us.

Honor our parents.

Paul’s writing is based on two scriptures from the Old Testament:

Exodus 20:12 NASB95

12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.

Exodus

Proverbs 6:20 NASB95

20 My son, observe the commandment of your father And do not forsake the teaching of your mother;

Proverbs

is found in the 10 commandments. Jews broke them up into two parts. The commandment about honoring our father and mother is found in the 2nd part that is based upon human relationships.

Paul is shedding light on the fact that the law of God was and is still relevant to honoring God. He also wrote that children please God whenever they obey their parents in .

What do we learn whenever we expand upon each verse in ?

What are seeing about

1. Obey Your Parents So That You Can Obey God. (v. 1)

Roman law declared that children had no choice in the matter. They had to obey their parents or face major trouble with the law.

This law was strictly enforced. Parents and namely the Father had complete authority to lead his family. There was no discussion in the matter.

Paul was writing with a Christian home in mind in this letter. Homes that didn’t revere Christ would struggle with living out these concepts.

Culture can change but the forming of the family will always we the same. Children are joined to their parents.

The created order tells us that parents are to lay out a foundation for their children to follow.

Children are commanded to obey their parents. Obedience is a strong word. Wives are not called to obey their husbands, they are called to submit.

Obedience is more unreasoning and implicit.

Submission is to willingly be in subjection to a higher authority.

What am I trying to tell you?

When God commanded children to obey their parents, He did this with the knowledge that parents are not people who deserve to be obeyed. That’s not the point. When I am told to obey my parents, I don’t have a right to question their authority.

Children are called to obey their parents “in the Lord, for this is right”.

The motive for our obedience to our parents is to be obedient to the God that has commanded us to be obedient.

Our parents are vessels to our relationship with God. When we obey them, we obey God. When we please our parents, we please God. Paul wrote to the church of Ephesus and explained the importance of their obedience.

Children can hear this message, but they find it hard to carry it out.

We are born with a sinful nature in our heart. This means we struggle with doing what our parents want us to do. Kids groan when their parents tell them to clean our their room or take out the trash. Teens don’t understand why their parents want to know who they are with and what they are doing. Adults get frustrated when their parents meddle in their lives. It’s a common theme through life. We are born to question the authorities in our life. The way children talk to their parents on television is insane?

Children, you have to understand that your parents must be obeyed. Plain and simple. Why? Because God commands you to. The way you listen to your parents today will determine how you listen to other authorities in your life like teachers, coaches, etc.

If you can’t obey your mom and dad, you are being sinful before God. Children who don’t listen to their parents are living out despicable lives.

When we lie to our parents, we are mocking God.

When you obey your parents, you are honoring God in an amazing way. You are telling Him that you love Him.

Parents, are we too easy on our kids? Do we allow disobedience too often?

Be the bad guy so that your child will stop sinning.

Do our children struggle with obedience in the Lord because we haven’t taught them about the Lord?

Talent, intelligence, and good fortune mean nothing if our children don’t know the Lord. It is our duty to teach our children to learn obedience or we are setting them up for failure.

2. Christian Children Respect Their Parents (v. 2)

What a simple statement that is rarely spoken of today.

The 5th commandment rings just as true today as it did when it was written on the stone tablet.

In 1st century Graeco-Roman society, children were required by law to submit to the authority of their parents. Paul’s instruction, is based on the principle of mutual submission.

While the natural law stated that children were to obey their parents, the holy law commands much more.

Honor - To voluntarily give value to something. Set a price of honor on someone.

Children were to look at their patriarch and matriarch of their family with high honor and value.

It is much easier to obey our parents when we have the desire to honor them.

Ideal scenario - Children learn from parents who are pursuing God wholeheartedly because the grandparents did the same. What follows is a generational chain of honoring parents because of their example.

You and I both know that this is not the common scenario.

Don’t feel like this is a new concept. Satan has always been in the been in the business of destroying the family. Paul’s writings reflect that the world was in a constant struggle.

Don’t assume that you are dealing with the worst. It’s always been the worst since sin was introduced in .

Paul was not writing to people who had it all figured out. He was writing to people with desire to honor God, but struggled.

If we are all honest, we all come from this family in some way.

The day I disobeyed my parents and got in the back of the truck.

Children, your parents are not perfect. God is not telling you to honor them because they are.

It is God’s priority that we respect our parents even when we don’t agree with them. We are to honor them even when they make decisions that make us struggle with honoring them. We are not perfect either. We are doing it because God is pleased when we honor our parents.

Honor your parents by telling them what they do right and stop focusing on the wrong so much.

Honor your parents by being honest and living right when they aren’t there to see how you are behaving.

What if your parents are not nice people and don’t love God? You can honor them by living right and showing them love even when they don’t deserve it.

Parents, do you know how confusing this commandment is to live by when we aren’t living lives worthy of honor?

We can make it really hard for our children to honor us when we aren’t living out our faith.

We also worry too much about our kids liking us. You can be their best friend so much that you aren’t laying a foundation for their lives.

I remember the times when my parents had to deal with my anger and distaste and it taught me that my job as a parent is not to be popular but to point them to truth no matter what it does to our relationship.

Our kids will follow our example. If we don’t respect our parents, they will have trouble respecting us.

We are given a promise to life when we honor our parents.

3. Obedience and Honor Produces a Full Life. (v. 3)

Paul reflects the promise of the Old Testament to children who honor and obey. We are promised a long life.

What does this mean?

When children learn the two virtues of this passage, there are huge benefits. Any time people are led away from wickedness, and live a life of righteousness, it is reasonable that they will receive the first fruits of their actions.

Psalm 1:1–3 NASB95

1 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! 2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. 3 He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.

Good things happen whenever God’s people make good decisions.

When a child is dedicated to honoring and obeying their parents, every other relationship they have will prosper.

A child grows up with a C grade point average and mediocre athletic ability. His strongest attribute is respect for his parents. It took a lot of work to get there. Taming him was like taming an angry bull. Teachers love him, coaches count on him, and the people that he works for know they can count on him. Because of the foundation laid in his life, he doesn’t avoid adults at church and begins to seek out the strong leaders in his life. He visits his youth minister often, he understands that he has to treat women with respect, and he knows that his devotion is important.

Eventually that young man will go to college by the skin of his teeth. He will learn that hard work is important but that the relationships he invests his life in are just as important. Pitfalls will come, issues will make their way known, but ultimately the good rises to the top because God promises to bless us with a full life when we live a life of honor and obedience to our parents.

It’s the foundation that taught him to not settle for an ok wife, but to pray for a wife that is the perfect compliment to his values. It put him in the right place to handle adversity whenever a great storm entered his life.

Why? Because the seed was planted and watered mothers and fathers.

Children, you need stop fast and give those parents of you your eyes and your ears. The way you treat them is God’s key to blessing the rest of your life.

If you can’t listen to them and bless them, don’t expect things in your life to progress smoothly.

Parents, do you see now why we can’t mess this up? We’ve got to be diligent in our efforts to raise these blessings that God has given us.

What are some important guidelines for us?

Get in the word today and learn everything you can about the words guidance on parenting.

2. Get down on your knees with your children and pray for their lives

3. Put the phone on the shelf and turn off the television.

4. Take control of your families schedule.

Take control of your families schedule.

5. Change your approach if it needs changing.

6. Value the church and what it’s doing more than anything else.

Next week, we are going to tackle verse 4 and learn about Christian discipline and instruction for our children.